Living with the beast.

Living with the beast of Attention Deficit Disorder sucks. I hate being on medication and off it at the same time. This may confuse but I will try to convey my true feelings about it so you can understand. I have had A.D.D. since I was in 5th grade. I was diagnosed after my grades began to falter in middle school. I didn't like the idea of seeing a "therapist" or whatever he was called, but I went anyways. He had me go through a few tests such as memorization and he tested my intelligence to make sure I didn't have a different disorder of some kind. He decided I needed medication. I was put on some small blue pill...it didn't work, so I was moved up to adderall...I got seizures from that so I was moved up to ritalin. That is what I currently take. I hate taking it. The reasons behind that are that 1. It makes me over think my life. 2. Makes me not eat 3. Makes me not sleep 4. I become depressing and super hyper focused on anything...not just on school work or goals or anything. Like for example, if I was on the computer searching for funny videos and was getting bored if I took that medication all the sudden I would be everywhere all over my computer looking for funny videos. Annoying! I also clean alot when I am on it (For those of you who don't know me, when I get upset I also clean alot.) I also don't like being off of my medicine. I get too care free and have the "Eff the world" type mentality until I take it. I am also very energetic so I don't sit still if I am not on it. Although when I don't take it I am also very confident and change my mind alot. But then again I do that when I am not on it...not purposely. I just don't want to be stuck doing something that I don't want to do in life or something that isn't fun. I need change, I will probably end up traveling and moving alot in my life. I don't mind. I just hope my kids have the same attitude some day when I have them. Anyways...back to the A.D.D. thing, Ritalin makes me really over think things and makes me organize. I don't mind being organized, I just don't like trying to set plans for my life that I know I won't follow. But I do that when I am on the meds. I wish I was normal. I wish I could just turn focusing on and off like my boyfriend. He will just sit down and decide to focus on something and BAM! it happens like that. He just...focuses. I can't do that. I have to sit down decide to focus tkae my meds wait a half hour or so and thennn BAM! It's hard because he get frustrated when he and I are supposed to do homework and I sit there braiding my hair for a half an hour waiting for it to kick in. But what can you do? It's a chemical problem in me it's not mental that's what the doctor says so maybe someday they will find a "cure" for it. I should probably stop writing for now. I have to go write some lyrics for the band or else I may have some grumpy boys on my hands. Love and peace to all
♥ Sarah Light

Writing to Write What's Right.

Okay So I am frustrated. First: Pshychology exam. I had one and I didn't even know about it. It says online that it's on thursday but yes oh yes lucky me, instead it was today. Second: School. In general. I don't like it. I can't decide if I want to major in Audiology anymore. I don't think I have the grades to do it. I am not an all A student. Barely even A's B's and C's I am so worried constantly about getting a bad grade that I stress and then do bad on tests. So I get a bad grade. Cool! Third: My aspirations. I would like to become an actress, but I don't know anyone that is really into acting or any acting programs or acting agents. What I need is to just get a friggin agent and try out somewhere. I know I have the looks to be something great, and I did drama in Highschool and I got a good grade, I did the make up and hair for the musicals and plays but I never tried out for the actual play's or anything. Ever since I was like 6 my mom has been calling me the "Drama Queen" If only I could apply that to real life and use it in an audition for a movie. I am soooo active and energetic that I can't even imagine my life in a boring job. I need to be able to express myself. I mean for goodness sakes, I am A.D.D. I don't have time to sit still and deal with the boring monotone annoyances of a plain job. I love talking, singing, reading, and dancing. I write lyrics for my band and sing lead vocals. I can't wait because my friend wants me to sing at his graduation party! How exciting!! Wow. Writing helped a little. If you liked reading give a shout. Comments are welcomed criticism is frowned upon.
Estais mi amo! ♥ Sarah

First Post Muy Divertida

So this happens to be the first blog I have ever written...I mean, I used to write the blogs you can find on like Myspace and all that jazz, but this is my first real blog I have ever done. A few things about me:
Name:Sarah Leeann Larsen
Age: (19) 08/30/1989
Sex: Female (Of course)
Heritage: Norwegian, English, Irish, Scottish, and I guess Japanese too.
Height: 5'6"
Weight: 115 lbs.

That's as much information as you will ever receive from a blog like this.
I have a few aspirations and they are to either be a singer, actress, or Audiologist. I prefer the first two because I am an active person and I hate sitting still. Being a doctor doesn't sound like a bunch of fun so...yea. That's about it for now. If you have comments, well... let me know. Thanks & Aloha for now.
~Sarah Light